A Matter of Reflection

~ Lyrics ~

They said it’s too dark too hard and it ain’t what they needed 

They said it’s too much to touch it’s more or less conceited 

They said it’s dangerous, outrageous and they don’t wanna see it 

I said it’s part of me it’s hard to see but I have to keep it 

They said that pain is just a matter of perception 

But I said this is shame and it’s a matter of reflection 

I’m journaling my journey on my path to find redemption 

Though fail as I may cause I can’t make you get it 

It’s just a story that I’m telling shattered glass all around

It’s just the memoirs of a monster from the past that I found 

It’s just the reasons for life finding a reason to breath

But the problem is I can never find what I need 

I'm falling deeper in my mind

And I can't seem to see your light

But I'll drain

All my pain

Until it falls like the rain

And I'll explain to all the names

Over again won't understand

Draw in the sand

With your own hand

With your own hand

Call me monster, call me a traitor 

Call me sinner, or call me your savior 

Put me in a mold to fit your little box 

Tell me everything I am and then everything I’m not 

I’ve seen the worst that life has to offer you don’t compare

I’m writing sins on top of tragedies but since when do you care 

I’m looking for some help but just know you were never there 

So you don’t get to tell me what to do let that be clear 

God told me that I have to be tougher 

So I don't know why I’m here but while I am I have to suffer 

But I’m not mad I know it's all a part of the plan 

But forgive me Lord cause like them

 I don’t always understand 

You pick the pieces of my heart

Then paint them black so I look marked

But I'll drain

All my pain

Until it falls like the rain

And I'll explain to all the names

Over again won't understand

Draw in the sand

With your own hand

With your own

I don't do it for the Christians 

And I don't need your permission

I appreciate your help 

But this is something that your mind is missing

It's beyond your comprehension you're just building the tension

So what I'm not offended, not ascended, we don't live allo dimensions

Just accept it I am hectic 

You don’t get it, please respect that 

I will never give up who I am just to fit your check list 

I can’t be your billboard poster child anymore 

The things that I have seen live in my head waging wars

My past is just a story and I’m the open book to tell it 

I write down all my problems just to find a way through it 

I only ever wanted to feel like I had been accepted 

I only ever wanted to breathe before they roll the credits 

But I'll drain

All my pain

Until it falls like the rain

And I'll explain to all the names

Over again won't understand

Draw in the sand

With your own hand

With your own hand