Conflicted

~ Lyrics ~

I’m conflicted,

Demons pulling me in every direction 

I think I need a blessing 

I think I need heaven 

I think my heads hemorrhaged

You can’t reverse all this damage 

Going way back back when I was a kid 

Looking at the damage and the things I did 

Said you were gonna find happiness I hope you did 

But I’m still caught between you and this

The shame, the regret, the demon on my shoulder

Say it’s fun now, I’ll regret it when I’m older 

The standards, expectations and the Angel on my right 

Yeah I wanna be with him but you know I can’t fly 

Now I’m cold and I’ve never felt so alone

There’s an Angel and a demon here 

And I never seem to see quite clear 

Now you know that I’m caught between what’s right and what underneath 

I put my self worth in her 

Of course I always wanted to make it work 

Caught between what I need and what I deserve 

Yeah I could follow my heart but either way I’m a jerk 

I never lied I just didn’t say everything 

Why make you feel bad doesn’t fix anything 

And you’re so sure that I’m hiding something 

Well there’s no pride in a single thing 

That I do I just know it would hurt to hurt you 

It’s true, I would rather die the let you down

And now I’m blue inside and if I never told you then you never knew 

1, 2, 3 strikes and your through 

Now I’m cold and I’ve never felt so alone

There’s an Angel and a demon here 

And I never seem to see quite clear 

Now you know that I’m caught between what’s right and what underneath 

Lately I been sick I been losing my grip 

Try to hold on tight and then I start to slip 

Fire from the hip cut to the chase 

Without good grace I’ll scream in your face 

Yeah I’m a Gemini that means it’s him and I 

Me, myself and my darkest side 

You might see the pain in my eyes 

But that’s because I can’t decide if its even safe to cry 

I’m pulled in every direction at the sight of affection 

I don’t expect you to get it won’t pass inspection 

Cause I’ve fallen in love with deceit and rejection 

And no one understands how I’m really affected 

Now I’m cold and I’ve never felt so alone

There’s an Angel and a demon here 

And I never seem to see quite clear 

Now you know that I’m caught between what’s right and what underneath 

Did it to myself 

My whole life has been a living hell 

I’m sorry and I know you’re mad

I never meant to make you sad